WHY DOES IT FEEL THAT IT'S NOT FUN ANY LONGER

Had a wake up call last couple of weeks ago.
Actually to me it's quite right if you called it a wake up call.
It's just that a had an interview with someone, who is a bit sarcastic.
And her words just made me remember things that I don't want to remember.

For example, why I chose to do a thing?
When I answered a for the reason, she would say something degrading, or blaming me, for my choice.
Maybe from her point of view, that I should've been better than what I am.
But, it was just her way of saying that made me feel so stupid.
And thanks to that, though I don't want to admit it to myself, I became so depressed.
Also just like she did to me; blaming for myself that I should've been better.
Thus lingered the question: It should've been like this, I could've been like that, my situation is most probably way better than now.

The result: I started losing my grip, things weren't enjoyable as before, I felt so tired I just wanted to shut my brain down, I didn't want to think at all, I felt like a robot; I did everything as usual but I felt empty inside.
Whether I like it or not, that bit*h had successfully affected me!
Thanks bit*h!

I am so grateful that I don't have to work together, though I hate of losing the opportunities, greater than what I have now (not just the money, you know).

Oh well, c'est la vie

Balada Insomnia

It's been a while since my last post here.
So many things had happened.
Don't know where to start.

Made a lot of new friends lately.
I joined three different places.
Two places has been so kind to me.
I have been accepted by the people openly.
The other one, in my opinion, is so so.
Only several people have accepted me openly.
But the strange thing is, I enjoy being there, in the third place, I mean.
'Cause that place had made me learned how to survive in an unfriendly environment even more.
Whenever something had happened; it just made me:
YEAH B*TCHES, BRING IT ON!!

The great thing is I have made several great steps in my life.
Unfortunately, that had nothing to do with boyfriend.
I know I am still suck when it comes to boyfriend thingy.
God wants me to wait a little bit longer.
Well you know that saying, "patience is a virtue",
I will hold on to that then ;)

AND, something in the back of my mind kept saying:
Soon, soon, soon...

I hope it has something to do with the steps I took a while ago.

It's 1:42 AM, and I'm signing off.

Hari Valentine!

Ngapain di Hari Valentine? Nggak ngapa-ngapain :p

Yah, begitulah nasib seorang jomblo. Hehehe...
Hari ini memang tidak ada rencana merayakan Hari Valentine. Terlepas dari kejombloan saya memang tidak menganggap tanggal 14 Februari itu sebagai hari yang spesial. Justru saya berencana pergi menemui seorang kawan lama, karena saya hendak meminjam kamus elektronik darinya. Juga beberapa rencana lainnya. Tapi apa daya, hujan deras menghalangi saya untuk melaksanakan semua rencana hari ini.

Tapi datang pesan dari seseorang yang mengatakan kalau dia sudah meng-update blognya, and I am in it! Benar-benar seperti tanah kering di tengah hujan deras... (ini maksudnya: bagaikan oase di tengah padang pasir. Hanya saja kan sedang hujan deras, jadi karena kurang cocok sama suasananya). Dan isinya benar-benar menggugah hati, meskipun singkat tapi luar biasa padat.

"What can I say? You're the perfect definition of a soul sister. "I can be myself now finally, in fact there's nothing i cant be" and you made that. Thank you, mbak. Just so you know, you always have me on your side." -Monogatachi-


Berhubung suasananya pas, saya juga mau bilang terima kasih pada Monogatachi ini. Dia benar-benar sudah membantu meningkatkan rasa percaya diri saya, sehingga saya berhasil diterima di tempat yang baru. Energi positif yang selalu dia sebarkan telah membawa saya ke poin yang tidak pernah saya yakin saya miliki. 


Monogatachi, you must be my lucky charm! Thank you for making me a better person to always believe in me. 

Suatu Hari di dalam sebuah Bus Kota

Penumpang A : So, is this your first ride using Busway?

Penumpang B : No, I always use this.

Penumpang A : Oh, really?

Penumpang B : Ya. Tidak usah pakai bahasa Inggris, saya bisa bahasa Indonesia.

Penumpang A : Oh... bisa toooh....

Saya : (pura-pura pasang muka datar)

Dari percakapan berikutnya, ternyata si Penumpang B yang memang memiliki perawakan seperti bule, adalah seorang campuran India dan Arab, meski penampilannya seperti seorang backpacker membuat orang berpikir kalau dia adalah seorang turis. Dan rupa-rupanya kedua penumpang itu terus bercakap-cakap ngalor-ngidul sampai waktu kutinggalkan mereka turun dari bus.

HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY MUM!

It was mum's b'day yesterday. The phone had rang from early in the morning. Apparently the calls were from her ex-co-workers, saying happy birthday to her. One of them, even had sent her a box of home made risoles.

Meanwhile, I was busy preparing myself for another job interview which was located quite far from my house that I had to leave early. I was still feeling a bit lousy after one day of diarrhea, eventhough I tried to look healthy as if nothing happened; tried to be confident for the interview, hoped that it would go smoothly.

For mum's birthday, I DID remember it actually. It's just that I'm such a bad child, for not saying happy birthday as soon as possible. Kept on thinking, I will say it later, later, later. See, that's the difference between a parent and her children. A parent would leave and forget everything for her children' sake. On the other hand, children MAY NOT do the same. And I feel very bad for being like that. It was already 6.30 PM when finally my sister and I remember to buy a cake. Since we were working late, we could only buy the cake to be delivered on the next day. And it was almost 11 PM when we finally said happy birthday to my mum. Eventhough she didn't show it, I'm sure that she felt sad about this.

Mummy, I know that I dissapointed you again and again. I know that I may not fulfilled your "perfect child" image. But please remember that you always in my prayers above anyone else and you are my number one.

Happy belated birthday Mum! I love you

*PS. it's 1.14 PM, and the cake hasn't come yet :(

KETIKA KOPI KALAH DARI PANADOL

Alkisah ada seorang gadis manis, yang tinggal di daerah Bintaro. Gadis itu sedang terserang penyakit flu, sehingga hidungnya terus menerus mengalir. Penyakit itu sudah menyerangnya beberapa hari ini, sehingga dia cukup tersiksa dengan keadaannya itu. Meskipun demikian, hal itu tidak membuatnya berhenti melakukan hal-hal  yang disukainya, salah satunya menulis.

Beberapa bulan yang lalu, dia mengajukan visa ke negeri kangguru, dengan bermodalkan surat pengantar dari orang tua  seorang kawannya yang tinggal di sana. Betapa gembira hatinya ketika dia mendapatkan visa tersebut. Tidak lama kemudian, pergilah gadis itu ke negeri kangguru. Selama seminggu dia berada di sana, tinggal di rumah kawannya itu. Di sana dia, sekali lagi, berhasil mendapatkan sebuah keluarga baru yang disayanginya, dan tentunya menyayanginya juga. Tidak hanya itu, dia juga mendapatkan sebuah pengalaman baru yang pasti menambah khazanah kehidupan masa mudanya yang luar biasa. Namun, apa daya, sang waktu begitu cepat datang, memanggilnya untuk segera kembali ke tanah air.

Saat ini, sang gadis yang sedang terkena flu itu, memutuskan untuk menuliskan perjalanannya selama di negeri kangguru. Dia berencana untuk mengirimkan tulisan tersebut ke suatu majalah berbahasa Inggris, "doakan ya, mbaak!" begitu katanya. Ketika tulisannya selesai, dia meminta kepada kawannya yang berada di negeri kangguru itu untuk mem-proofread hasil tulisan tersebut. Sayangnya kita masih harus menunggu, apakah gadis ini berhasil menorehkan tulisannya di majalah tersebut.

Tiba-tiba sang gadis berkata, "mbak, aku mau kopii... Tapi abis minum obaat..." kalau tidak salah saat dia mengatakan itu, waktu menunjukkan pukul 23. Ya, benar. Ngupi adalah salah satu hal yang paling disukainya.  Tapi apa daya, penyakit menuntutnya untuk tidak melakukan hal itu. Namun kita pagi hari menjelang, dia nekat melakukannya. Anehnya, kopi itu malah membuatnya mengantuk! Ternyata efek obat flunya masih tersisa (tersenyum)

Cepat sembuh ya, Gadis! Supaya kita bisa segera bertemu lagi, sebelum kau pergi jauh, menorehkan sejarah baru di negeri dewa sana.

Shingo mama Kissing Gackt

This one is old, but EPIC!!!

*Shingo mama tte saikou!!